You Are Never Alone
November 19, 2012 letter
WHY are P-days always so short???
Our internet in the chapel was down, so we didn’t see the Relief Society session [Sept. 29] and the 1st Saturday session of General Conference [Oct. 6]. However, on Sunday [Oct. 7], we squeezed in the highlights during the in-between break. I can’t believe General Conference was only 1 ½ months ago! I was transferred
WHY are P-days always so short???
Our internet in the chapel was down, so we didn’t see the Relief Society session [Sept. 29] and the 1st Saturday session of General Conference [Oct. 6]. However, on Sunday [Oct. 7], we squeezed in the highlights during the in-between break. I can’t believe General Conference was only 1 ½ months ago! I was transferred
right before conference to Cabo Frio, which is the 2nd most popular city to pass through here in RJ [the state of Rio de Janeiro]. It’s quite lovely and windy, so ponytail day is every day; but shower day is… YEP, every stinkin’ day. We usually get well sand-blasted every day; and when it’s not windy, it’s insufferable. My least favorite combination is wind and rain because there’s just no doing anything about it. I’m definitely trusting Boaz on the Sunscreen (he sings the Sunscreen song). And I have to drink water like a camel, or “eu estou passando mal” [I’m sick] is the phrase that comes out of my mouth. When I first got here, “eu estou passando mal” meant to ME, “I’m a weakling girl with a headache.” Needless to say, I have since repented of this thought because, after a week of diarrhea and a few days of
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not drinking enough water AND a sunburn, I had the unshakable desire to throw up, body pains that hurt when wind blew on me, inability to lie down or eat, diarrhea STILL, and a migraine. Anyway, yeah.
The food here is lovely. I adore always having more than two dishes. At home, it’s usually just salad and the main dish. Here, you always have rice and beans, then some kind of meat, vegetable or regular salad, then some kind of pasta, hand-made juice, and dessert. So, yes, I’m getting fat. I’m not sure what’s more depressing: knowing I’m losing muscle mass or knowing that in place of my muscle mass, I have fat. :( I wanna start an X-runners/athletes club. I’m trying to think of a cool name. Help me! This past week was quite a chance of a lifetime. I have been really worried about the fact that I need to develop more love for these Brazilians. I respect the fact that they usually have good self-hygiene, and their ability to help others is mind-boggling; but I’m just so impatient with them sometimes. However, last Monday, my companion was to meet with her parents to travel around Rio before going home. So, I got to spend 2 days in my old area—the area where they always put sisters to spend the night because there are 3 bunk beds. [Jacarepaguá] Transfer day is Tuesday; so while I waited for the other sisters to arrive, I went out with my old companion, Sister Soneghet! Her trainee, Sister Cellurales, was “passando mal,” so she stayed with the other overnight sisters. These 2 sisters and I were spending the night because we were going to TRAIN! |
Newbiessss! Woooo! Going out with Sister Soneghet and greeting the sisters who were being trained in my old area and making the newbies feel welcomed when we met them was my priority. I was so concerned with their needs and helping Sister Soneghet feel happy and positive about the changes in our old area that it didn’t matter that my only pair of shoes and socks that I brought for the trip were soaking and wouldn’t dry until I took them off back in our far-off land of Cabo Frio. I realized that—sure—I haven’t quite gotten the hang of loving people, I have at least learned to put my concerns and needs in the back of the line. I have also been able to see the good in people and not just see the not-so-good habits they have or things they do.
It has been a rough first week as senior AND trainer AND celebrating my half-way mark -------->
AND only having 1 transfer to get to know the 7 cities we’re in charge of, but I will never forget what my mission president told me in the last interview. “Sister, remember this: you are never alone. This is the Lord’s work, and He is standing next to you every step of the way, no matter who your companion is. Confide in the Spirit that will guide you, but be happy because you are never alone.”
I don’t know what I’m doing, but I always have an inclination of |
what I’m supposed to say. I just need to learn to not be afraid to say it! If we say our peace, at least we will have a clear conscience that we did all we could have done. No one will change if you don’t give them a reason to do so. There’s no way to coax people out of their comfort zone if you are hiding in your own. I’m learning to be persistent, too. Yes, people will SAY they’re not interested, but what they MEAN is, “I have agency, but I don’t know how to use it.” If they haven’t been taught how to choose the right, how will they know to “act and not be acted upon”? (2 Nephi 2:26 “And the Messiah cometh in the fulness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day, according to the commandments which God hath given.”)
If only, if ONLY all the ex-investigators who had tasted of the liberty the gospel brings and PURSUED with their might the message we imperfect missionaries bring, there would be way more truly converted members of Christ’s church who wouldn’t “walk no more with Him.” (John 6:66) I now understand how Christ feels in the Greg Olsen painting “O Jerusalem.” “Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven,” (Matt 7:21) scares me enough to be obedient, haha. I love most the promise, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things (What “things” do you want?) shall be added unto you.” (JST Matt 6:38)
If only, if ONLY all the ex-investigators who had tasted of the liberty the gospel brings and PURSUED with their might the message we imperfect missionaries bring, there would be way more truly converted members of Christ’s church who wouldn’t “walk no more with Him.” (John 6:66) I now understand how Christ feels in the Greg Olsen painting “O Jerusalem.” “Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven,” (Matt 7:21) scares me enough to be obedient, haha. I love most the promise, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things (What “things” do you want?) shall be added unto you.” (JST Matt 6:38)
A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
This past Saturday, we had lunch with Nádia and then had to go to São Pedro because we were having a Noite Familiar [Family Night] with Vangela and Jackson. I asked if there was a bus that went from Búzios to São Pedro. There was. SCORE! Let’s save money, shall we? Let’s pass by Cida and Riquelmo’s, or get off at Ketty’s house and walk over to that other area. Yes, perfect, we can also contact that lady with “11” dogs, sweet. As we were heading to São Pedro, it looked like Búzios the whole time—no people living there, just greenery. I started getting antsy and asked the lady next to me where we should get off, but I didn’t even KNOW a reference point to tell her… uhh… Mercado Estrela?? We ended up staying on the bus until it finally connected to the normal freeway where we take buses… UGH! I knew we had to pick up a bus and backtrack or we’d have to walk for like 3 hours. I got another bus, rather annoyed we had to waste money, and decided to get off at Ponte de Socorro… but I got us lost there. I gave up and decided to head over to Vangela’s house, which means take ANOTHER bus (uh, I’m flippin’ ridiculous, basically) and get it right this time. |
I called Irmão José Batista for some reference points and even asked a few people on the street, so I’d be sure the bus man would dump my dejected self off in the right place. (Oh, and it just so happened that a man we contacted for directions wanted to give us his contact information because he’s trying to look for a wife. He made sure to tell us that he was kind and good company. I was just glad he didn’t try to hit on or propose to either one of us.) So, the bus driver, taking in all the reference points I threw at him, decided
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We made it to the gas station José Batista told us about, which made me even MORE frustrated because this point of reference has NEVER been given to go to São Pedro. Trying to choke back tears, I called Irmão Batista yet again and, swallowing my pride, handed the phone to Sister Carvalho. Even she wasn’t too sure about the directions given and had to ask the only person nearby, who was working at his bar. We FINALLY made it to Vangela and Jackson’s at 6:40, aaaaand NO ONE WAS HOME. Without an ounce of energy to react, the thought came to my head, “This is just a test of my faith. That’s right; I love trials because they are ways to prove my worthiness and obedience.” Okay, it’s cool, our only plans for the day fell through. Fine. Let’s go contact Cida and Dog Lady; and so I was off on my mission, inadvertantly ignoring their neighbors [Claudiomar & Kelrem], who were the ONES at the wedding of Vangela and Jackson!
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I was reminded about them on Sunday, and I had to kick myself in the pants. I’m such a tard. Wanderlei also told me he passed by us in his car but was alone so couldn’t drive us around. Oh, beleza. [Oh, lovely.]
Needless to say, I’m learning and growing a LOT. A good kick in the pants every once in a while is always needed. I must admit, I should have been made senior much sooner, so I could have gotten my act together sooner than halfway through my mission. How embarrassing!
Sunday, [new convert] was “adopted” by [sister in the ward]; and we had lunch together… well, more like dinner, haha. It started at 2:45. After lunch, [new convert] finally opened up about her trip—it wasn’t what she had expected. All the guilt, anger, shame, and problems she felt about her past came flooding over her. She thought that because of her baptism, she would NEVER feel those emotions again nor would she ever remember her memories of the past. She thought God was quite a piece of work putting her through all that. She felt like if she could still feel these feelings, then God hadn’t forgiven her, and that He doesn’t love her. Sister Carvalho, that Wonderwoman, jumped in and read D&C 58:42 “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.” She explained that God doesn’t remember her past sins. We remember our sins, so we won’t do them again. [Sister in the ward] also suggested that perhaps she has not done the hardest part of 100% changing, which is moving on. Moving on includes forgiving others, whether or not they change, AND, most importantly, forgiving yourself and trusting that the Atonement and Baptismal sanctification process really does give you a clean slate. Sure, you have a past, but dwelling upon the past inhibits growth. She also said she didn’t feel like God loves her. We read D&C 18:10 “Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God” and John 3:16-17. We explained that God loves her, and the person who didn’t want her to feel that way is Satan. I also made the connection that God gave up Jesus Christ for us. He knows how it feels to be far away from a child, to not be able to help him, to watch as he suffers. We also read 2 Néfi 2:27 “...And they [men] are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.” We explained that Satan will always work with her to make her feel worthless and to feel that God never forgave her. But she has chosen to be baptized, and she will be blessed for that. This was her first big trial, and she needs to remember that God is on her side. And when it looks like He has abandoned her, it’s really because He is carrying her.
I know trials are to help us reach our full potential. I know God has wonderful plans for us if we will but trust Him and walk His path and do His will. I had been thinking a lot as to why we receive so much so quickly on a mission, and I realized it’s because of this: God knows we will DO something with the knowledge given to us. As missionaries, when we find a golden nugget of spiritual worth, we don’t just put it on our desk as a fancy paperweight; we GIVE it, ALL of it, to bless our investigators.
Sister Nelson
Needless to say, I’m learning and growing a LOT. A good kick in the pants every once in a while is always needed. I must admit, I should have been made senior much sooner, so I could have gotten my act together sooner than halfway through my mission. How embarrassing!
Sunday, [new convert] was “adopted” by [sister in the ward]; and we had lunch together… well, more like dinner, haha. It started at 2:45. After lunch, [new convert] finally opened up about her trip—it wasn’t what she had expected. All the guilt, anger, shame, and problems she felt about her past came flooding over her. She thought that because of her baptism, she would NEVER feel those emotions again nor would she ever remember her memories of the past. She thought God was quite a piece of work putting her through all that. She felt like if she could still feel these feelings, then God hadn’t forgiven her, and that He doesn’t love her. Sister Carvalho, that Wonderwoman, jumped in and read D&C 58:42 “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.” She explained that God doesn’t remember her past sins. We remember our sins, so we won’t do them again. [Sister in the ward] also suggested that perhaps she has not done the hardest part of 100% changing, which is moving on. Moving on includes forgiving others, whether or not they change, AND, most importantly, forgiving yourself and trusting that the Atonement and Baptismal sanctification process really does give you a clean slate. Sure, you have a past, but dwelling upon the past inhibits growth. She also said she didn’t feel like God loves her. We read D&C 18:10 “Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God” and John 3:16-17. We explained that God loves her, and the person who didn’t want her to feel that way is Satan. I also made the connection that God gave up Jesus Christ for us. He knows how it feels to be far away from a child, to not be able to help him, to watch as he suffers. We also read 2 Néfi 2:27 “...And they [men] are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.” We explained that Satan will always work with her to make her feel worthless and to feel that God never forgave her. But she has chosen to be baptized, and she will be blessed for that. This was her first big trial, and she needs to remember that God is on her side. And when it looks like He has abandoned her, it’s really because He is carrying her.
I know trials are to help us reach our full potential. I know God has wonderful plans for us if we will but trust Him and walk His path and do His will. I had been thinking a lot as to why we receive so much so quickly on a mission, and I realized it’s because of this: God knows we will DO something with the knowledge given to us. As missionaries, when we find a golden nugget of spiritual worth, we don’t just put it on our desk as a fancy paperweight; we GIVE it, ALL of it, to bless our investigators.
Sister Nelson
NO STRESS
THAT'S what I'm talkin' about.
Panorama while on the pier at Praia da Armação
THAT'S what I'm talkin' about.
Panorama while on the pier at Praia da Armação