Faith For a Miracle
November 26, 2012
Shotout… or shoutout, too, hahahaha! RACHEL FREUND gets the golden ticket for awesome… um… letters. Yeah, that’s the word. Yes, I got the box, Mom. I didn’t open it until the other p-day or so because being senior companion is RIDICULOUS! Thanks for everything. Paper plates. I remember those. We usually just use napkins here for cake, chips, salgados [salty snacks], whatever. Thanks for all your support, everyone. There’s no such thing as Thanksgiving here. Duuuh. Weeee... had lunch with the Relief Society president. It was feijoada [the very popular Brazilian bean dish] and then we started a fast afterward that I didn’t end until Sunday morning. Bahahaha. Happy turkey day! D&C 31:3 We all need to elevate our hearts from the world. |
Mosiah 27:30-33 This is how we are working right now. I now understand how to work and give all your heart, might, mind, and strength. I’ve never fasted for longer than 20 hours, and it truly does sanctify you. We were trying to find our final baptism for the end of the month. It was super cool because we took the names of the ex-investigators who already visited the church and prayed for them individually. Then we decided if we should work with them or not and asked God to tell us if we were right or not. Because we were fasting, too, we understood the answers much more easily; aaaaand we had to pray specifically to know if they can be baptized this week. There were a few where the prayer was just if they could be baptized or if we should go visit them. That’s when the answer got more complicated and confusing, especially if we asked a question without deciding on an answer first or if we proposed two decisions at the same time. We did find those people, and they did accept but then lacked faith. And we ALL—not just the missionaries—must have faith for a miracle to occur.
Dear Mom, [letter written November 2012 and received March 2013]
Your package did seem like it made it in the allotted time but sat in the office until zone conference… and that was when I was in Jacarepaguá. This week we have interviews, so I’ll get letters :) and I’ll go to transfers… but they usually don’t give us stuff for transfers… just more junk to pack. HOWEVER, Prez says he wants monthly zone conferences now, conducted by the ZL [Zone Leader]. The ones he conducts are tri-zone conferences, and I’ve only been to two. I arrived when Elder Quentin L. Cook talked to us. (Apparently, before him, about 2 months before, was ELDER BEDNAR!) Then tri-zone conference in Campo Grande, then Elder Claudio M. Costa visited us with Elder Cruz, then zone conference in Jacarepaguá, then tri-zone conference in Macaé. Crazy. Oh, I forgot to tell you, but I feel like my musical talents have been put to good use: flute and singing in the CTM; I sang in a group of 4 sisters and 4 elders for Elder Costa; I conduct often in Gospel Essentials, District Meeting, and family nights (which means singing the first bit of the hymn alone to give the melody… yes, scary, and YES, I usually mess up the words); and IF I played piano, I would have played already 7 or 8 times. I loved the song Sister Soneghet and I sang for the Missionary Shower in Anil (Jacarepaguá).
The bishop here is wonderful! There’s a movie every Tuesday night and Mutual every Thursday. Usually, we have a meeting with our LMA (or WML); and even on top of that, he calls us in. It is his personal goal to marry and baptize families, so President Lima will send more missionaries in this area. After all, it’s HUGE! In the past, they’ve been 4 branches in 4 cities, then one ward in a rented house here in Cabo Frio, and now they have a chapel here in Cabo Frio. The R.S. president treats the chapel like her house and always fights with people who leave a mess because, as she puts it, she fought to have a chapel here. Our LMA, Sydney, is great, too. He went to the temple in Campinas (a weekend trip where they drive in the car all night, there and back, yet they go as often as I remember going as a youth) and bought a mountain of DVDs and booklets and displays them at every baptism. For those who are interested in renting them, the conditions are they have to have an investigator/be an investigator; and WE will take the DVD to their house. :) Sydney has been really busy, though, because he has gotten time off work to get surgery on his knee and has been trying to squeeze in rebuilding a part of his house before his surgery. So, we talk to his assistant, Julio, a 20-year-old, who 6 months ago returned from his mission in Recife because of health problems. They’ve told him he has to wait to return. He works as a gardener for the church and studies… so he has been busy, too.
I want you to know that your faithful daughter is working hard. This past week was murder, and it came to a head yesterday after church. Sundays are THE most STRESSFUL days of my life. We have to get our investigators to church, make sure they’re introduced to everyone, pass out thank-you notes for lunch, make sure we schedule next week’s lunches and collect money for those who don’t wanna make food, meet the less-actives, get the addresses of the visitors, mark when and where for lessons with members, remind members of their referrals and ask them to pass by and accompany them (which usually means knocking on their neighbor’s door, haha), organize the meeting with our LMA and ward missionaries (I only know of Julio and Pedro as ward missionaries), be happy to see our recent converts and make them feel welcome, and make sure we get a ride to lunch. I think we need a secretary, haha. Totally gonna delegate some of these silly details.
After Sacrament Meeting, I went up to Ketty—the one who really makes me miss the spicy personalities of Fatima and Porsche (I can’t believe I forgot her name!)—and asked if we could re-mark for this week since Tuesday didn’t work out. That’s when I learned that we missed lunch with her due to a scheduling mishap. I was completely unaware, and I felt super bad. On top of all this, most of our lunches for the first week of December weren’t marked because we were late getting to church with our investigator (and I had the calendar), I forgot our Progress Report we needed to give to our LMA (nor did I even shake hands with him), I hadn’t marked a family night with Irmã Francisca, I had no clue where the calendar was now being passed around, and I had to tell our investigator to walk home alone, without having the chance to talk to her or mark a day to return. I sat on a pew, replete from all energy, and wept bitterly. I was tired. I was devastated that our “miracle” baptisms fell through. I was annoyed that our other 2 investigators didn’t show. I had been fasting since Friday night, so I was without food for over 32 hours. I was insecure, and I felt like I had just offended my best friend.
But, God knows how to test us; and He knows just how much we can handle, no matter what we might think or the insecurities we carry. He gives us these breaking moments so we can see within ourselves just how strong we are.
The Sunday didn’t end. I ate what little I could, asked Sister Carvalho, my wonderful companion, to give the message; and we got a ride to the area in São Pedro that we wanted to work. We stepped out of the car, and I had a few plans in mind (luckily I had plan A, B, and C, depending on what city we ended up in); but I knew I wasn’t strong enough to dig right in. I decided to start off strengthening our recent convert, Vangela. At least that was a good decision. She missed seeing us this week; and although I was in for an hour’s visit and not a short stop-by, I decided to stay tuned in. (Hopefully, one day, I’ll learn how to carry a conversation with a Brazilian and not just be talked at.) She got on the subject of miracles; and although her words weren’t exactly what I was needing to understand, I felt like God was telling me that He was aware of my desires to have and work as I did to have a miracle, but it wasn’t my call. It wasn’t my baptism. It wasn’t my time to witness a miracle—not to have a miracle. It wasn’t a lack of faith, desire, action, obedience, or worthiness. It was just a lack of time. What’s the point in having a “miracle” baptism if the miracle baptizee doesn’t see it as a miracle? Faith must be founded on Jesus Christ and His atonement. Thus, miracles don’t come until after the trial of your testimony. Our investigators weren’t ready. They didn’t have faith in Jesus Christ to be cleansed from all sin. It doesn’t matter what we, the missionaries, do to exercise our faith; we will never be able to exercise our faith in the place of another person.
I did, however, remember that Alma the Elder prayed for his son; and despite the DISobedience of his son, Alma’s prayers were answered. So, I wanted to know how Alma prayed. And here it was: he didn’t pray to have an angel appear to his son. He didn’t pray for his son to repent. He didn’t even pray for his son to have the desire to be baptized and stop being a hooligan. He prayed “concerning thee that thou mightest be brought to the knowledge of the truth.” (Mosiah 27:14)
By the end of the week, I admit, I was relieved. BUT I was relieved for more than just being done with the week; I truly felt like I did the will of God. For a week of running after ex-investigators, we had “miraculous” results. We had 18 lessons, 1 with member, and 2 with recent converts/less actives. We now have 15 pretty good quality new investigators, which means we have a teaching group! And because of my embarrassing meltdown, we have more sympathetic members wanting to help out. We have resurrected some ex-investigators and cut our only progressing investigator because, well, she doesn’t want to be baptized because she wants to “feel more.” I stand as a witness that the Holy Ghost doesn’t work as a blasting iPod that is at your disposal and drowns out all other sounds. We found out who was ready to receive us from the list of ex-investigators through the subtle whisperings of the Holy Ghost. We fasted. We studied the information we had. We prayed. We decided if we should work with them or not. We prayed that if our decision was correct, the Lord would send good feelings and thoughts in our heart and our mind. We went down the list. If one of us thought contrary to another, we prayed again, being more specific. It was a “miraculous” moment of learning. I learned that it is so much easier to get a prayer answered when you make up your mind and pray about that one topic. The Lord knew we would act on our answer and decision, so He was bound to bless us. And, still, we will be acting on our answer.
Mom and Dad, Mosiah 28:7. THANKS for letting me go on a mission. [Dear E, thank YOU for going.]
Your package did seem like it made it in the allotted time but sat in the office until zone conference… and that was when I was in Jacarepaguá. This week we have interviews, so I’ll get letters :) and I’ll go to transfers… but they usually don’t give us stuff for transfers… just more junk to pack. HOWEVER, Prez says he wants monthly zone conferences now, conducted by the ZL [Zone Leader]. The ones he conducts are tri-zone conferences, and I’ve only been to two. I arrived when Elder Quentin L. Cook talked to us. (Apparently, before him, about 2 months before, was ELDER BEDNAR!) Then tri-zone conference in Campo Grande, then Elder Claudio M. Costa visited us with Elder Cruz, then zone conference in Jacarepaguá, then tri-zone conference in Macaé. Crazy. Oh, I forgot to tell you, but I feel like my musical talents have been put to good use: flute and singing in the CTM; I sang in a group of 4 sisters and 4 elders for Elder Costa; I conduct often in Gospel Essentials, District Meeting, and family nights (which means singing the first bit of the hymn alone to give the melody… yes, scary, and YES, I usually mess up the words); and IF I played piano, I would have played already 7 or 8 times. I loved the song Sister Soneghet and I sang for the Missionary Shower in Anil (Jacarepaguá).
The bishop here is wonderful! There’s a movie every Tuesday night and Mutual every Thursday. Usually, we have a meeting with our LMA (or WML); and even on top of that, he calls us in. It is his personal goal to marry and baptize families, so President Lima will send more missionaries in this area. After all, it’s HUGE! In the past, they’ve been 4 branches in 4 cities, then one ward in a rented house here in Cabo Frio, and now they have a chapel here in Cabo Frio. The R.S. president treats the chapel like her house and always fights with people who leave a mess because, as she puts it, she fought to have a chapel here. Our LMA, Sydney, is great, too. He went to the temple in Campinas (a weekend trip where they drive in the car all night, there and back, yet they go as often as I remember going as a youth) and bought a mountain of DVDs and booklets and displays them at every baptism. For those who are interested in renting them, the conditions are they have to have an investigator/be an investigator; and WE will take the DVD to their house. :) Sydney has been really busy, though, because he has gotten time off work to get surgery on his knee and has been trying to squeeze in rebuilding a part of his house before his surgery. So, we talk to his assistant, Julio, a 20-year-old, who 6 months ago returned from his mission in Recife because of health problems. They’ve told him he has to wait to return. He works as a gardener for the church and studies… so he has been busy, too.
I want you to know that your faithful daughter is working hard. This past week was murder, and it came to a head yesterday after church. Sundays are THE most STRESSFUL days of my life. We have to get our investigators to church, make sure they’re introduced to everyone, pass out thank-you notes for lunch, make sure we schedule next week’s lunches and collect money for those who don’t wanna make food, meet the less-actives, get the addresses of the visitors, mark when and where for lessons with members, remind members of their referrals and ask them to pass by and accompany them (which usually means knocking on their neighbor’s door, haha), organize the meeting with our LMA and ward missionaries (I only know of Julio and Pedro as ward missionaries), be happy to see our recent converts and make them feel welcome, and make sure we get a ride to lunch. I think we need a secretary, haha. Totally gonna delegate some of these silly details.
After Sacrament Meeting, I went up to Ketty—the one who really makes me miss the spicy personalities of Fatima and Porsche (I can’t believe I forgot her name!)—and asked if we could re-mark for this week since Tuesday didn’t work out. That’s when I learned that we missed lunch with her due to a scheduling mishap. I was completely unaware, and I felt super bad. On top of all this, most of our lunches for the first week of December weren’t marked because we were late getting to church with our investigator (and I had the calendar), I forgot our Progress Report we needed to give to our LMA (nor did I even shake hands with him), I hadn’t marked a family night with Irmã Francisca, I had no clue where the calendar was now being passed around, and I had to tell our investigator to walk home alone, without having the chance to talk to her or mark a day to return. I sat on a pew, replete from all energy, and wept bitterly. I was tired. I was devastated that our “miracle” baptisms fell through. I was annoyed that our other 2 investigators didn’t show. I had been fasting since Friday night, so I was without food for over 32 hours. I was insecure, and I felt like I had just offended my best friend.
But, God knows how to test us; and He knows just how much we can handle, no matter what we might think or the insecurities we carry. He gives us these breaking moments so we can see within ourselves just how strong we are.
The Sunday didn’t end. I ate what little I could, asked Sister Carvalho, my wonderful companion, to give the message; and we got a ride to the area in São Pedro that we wanted to work. We stepped out of the car, and I had a few plans in mind (luckily I had plan A, B, and C, depending on what city we ended up in); but I knew I wasn’t strong enough to dig right in. I decided to start off strengthening our recent convert, Vangela. At least that was a good decision. She missed seeing us this week; and although I was in for an hour’s visit and not a short stop-by, I decided to stay tuned in. (Hopefully, one day, I’ll learn how to carry a conversation with a Brazilian and not just be talked at.) She got on the subject of miracles; and although her words weren’t exactly what I was needing to understand, I felt like God was telling me that He was aware of my desires to have and work as I did to have a miracle, but it wasn’t my call. It wasn’t my baptism. It wasn’t my time to witness a miracle—not to have a miracle. It wasn’t a lack of faith, desire, action, obedience, or worthiness. It was just a lack of time. What’s the point in having a “miracle” baptism if the miracle baptizee doesn’t see it as a miracle? Faith must be founded on Jesus Christ and His atonement. Thus, miracles don’t come until after the trial of your testimony. Our investigators weren’t ready. They didn’t have faith in Jesus Christ to be cleansed from all sin. It doesn’t matter what we, the missionaries, do to exercise our faith; we will never be able to exercise our faith in the place of another person.
I did, however, remember that Alma the Elder prayed for his son; and despite the DISobedience of his son, Alma’s prayers were answered. So, I wanted to know how Alma prayed. And here it was: he didn’t pray to have an angel appear to his son. He didn’t pray for his son to repent. He didn’t even pray for his son to have the desire to be baptized and stop being a hooligan. He prayed “concerning thee that thou mightest be brought to the knowledge of the truth.” (Mosiah 27:14)
By the end of the week, I admit, I was relieved. BUT I was relieved for more than just being done with the week; I truly felt like I did the will of God. For a week of running after ex-investigators, we had “miraculous” results. We had 18 lessons, 1 with member, and 2 with recent converts/less actives. We now have 15 pretty good quality new investigators, which means we have a teaching group! And because of my embarrassing meltdown, we have more sympathetic members wanting to help out. We have resurrected some ex-investigators and cut our only progressing investigator because, well, she doesn’t want to be baptized because she wants to “feel more.” I stand as a witness that the Holy Ghost doesn’t work as a blasting iPod that is at your disposal and drowns out all other sounds. We found out who was ready to receive us from the list of ex-investigators through the subtle whisperings of the Holy Ghost. We fasted. We studied the information we had. We prayed. We decided if we should work with them or not. We prayed that if our decision was correct, the Lord would send good feelings and thoughts in our heart and our mind. We went down the list. If one of us thought contrary to another, we prayed again, being more specific. It was a “miraculous” moment of learning. I learned that it is so much easier to get a prayer answered when you make up your mind and pray about that one topic. The Lord knew we would act on our answer and decision, so He was bound to bless us. And, still, we will be acting on our answer.
Mom and Dad, Mosiah 28:7. THANKS for letting me go on a mission. [Dear E, thank YOU for going.]